she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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