I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
