Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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