Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
