Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
