I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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