Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
