We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
