Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
