8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How does it feel to date your dad?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
