He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
