I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
