I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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