I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
