So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
