Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pants are for mortals
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
