Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
