Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
