i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
