I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
