I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
