I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
