I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
