i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
