so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
