Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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