I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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