who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
