I love black thongs
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
