I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
