Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
