So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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