How'd it feel making her break her religion?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
