Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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