dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
