wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
