theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
