Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
