You're so nebulous sometimes
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
