why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
