And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
