So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
