How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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