I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
