I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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