i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
