My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
two words: eviction party
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
