you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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