This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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