My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
