Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
