11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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