we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
