apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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