what day is it and did you see me today?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Vodka?
Forever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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